(Sound effect: Old-timey radio jingle)

Pirate Captain (boisterous, with the sound of waves and creaking wood in the background):

"Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs and time-tossed travelers! Hark and heed, for the choice ye make next shall chart the course of yer very destiny! Will ye brave the tempestuous seas of the original? Arrr, me hearties, that be where we pirates love to roam - the Caribbean, nestled like a sparklin' jewel 'tween the Americas! As any sea dog worth his salt knows, 'tis the very heart of our exploits! Shiver me timbers, but there be no finer place for plunderin' and adventure!

Now, will ye choose to sail these beloved waters, or dare to explore the mysterious isles of the Balkan Chronicles? Mayhaps ye fancy yerself a buccaneer of time itself in the Cyber-Atom-Steam-Punk realm? Aye, that be spelled C.A.S.P., ye bilge rats! Choose wisely, for each path be fraught with peril and wonder in equal measure! And remember, in this tale, there be no wrong choices—only different adventures!"